Welcome To Arda! Here is your Birthday present!
by Serami Nefera
Summary: Eru is trying to think up gifts to give to his children. He decides to send some Ainor to guide them while they are in Arda.The story includes Manwe, Varda, Aule, Mandos, Melkor, Sauron, and many other bewildered Ainor. Please forgive my bad spelling!


**Welcome to Arda! Here are your Birthday Gifts!**

Note: I ask that you not take this too seriously. A warning to readers is that there may be bits and pieces that can be offensive... I do not mean for this though! But to all I hope you enjoy! JRR Tolkien would most likely sue the pants of me for this humiliating depiction of his wonderful story, the Silmarillion!

Enjoy!

_Ch.1-Gifts_

The Ainor gathered around Eru with a childlike curiosity as he pronounced his decision for Arda. All the Ainor expected different things that they themselves loved. For did not Eru put the thought in their minds? So he had to approve and would thus make Arda the way they would envision.

Manwe dreamed of high altitudes full of thermals and gusts of wind that would rock the soon to be birds of the air. He imagined the feel of dive bombing endlessly in loops of movement in the air. Indeed, if an Edain was to know his thoughts then they would picture a roller coaster ride... just minus the roller coaster contraption and fill it in with empty air.

Aule dream of fire and stone that he could work his craft at continuously. Dream of volcanoes in which he could forge metals and such to his every little whimsy. Yet, is ultra-top-secret-none-must-ever-find-out dream was to make... little munchkins that would adore is every design!

Mandos dream of a place where all was silent and serious. With none of his wacky and insane siblings could go running about and reeking havoc in his little "happy... or morbid... spot". All would sit quietly and consider their various deeds that may have been ingenious... or out right stupid... decisions.

While Melkor, the mightiest of all the Ainor, dreamed of a place where screams of torment would resound spontaneously at random forever in HIS domain. All others would bow and WORSHIP him. Especially his goody-to-shoes brother Manwe! Always believing he was high and noble when he was actually just an airhead! All would serve him and fear him FOREVER!

Sauron just nodded to himself when Morgoth whispered this silkily in his ear. "Whatever you say boss. You are always right. You are the rightful master..." Sauron would drone on and on in agreement with Morgoth. He would see to it that his master got his rightful due! Or he himself would obtain it!

Still while the Ainor were murmuring excitedly about who would get the right to rule and have middle earth exactly the way they liked it when Eru dropped a bombshell on them. Leaving all the Ainor open mouthed and gaping in dumb-struck shock. A resounding, "WHAT!!!" echoed through the current dwelling of Eru and his Ainor.

"You heard me! I have decided to give the world to my beloved children! I have wanted to get them out of the house for _so long_!" Eru said with an aggrieved parent voice. "So..." Eru leaned in to whisper conspiratorily to his Ainor, "I have told them that they are going to a new home! A better home! One that they can all love! I have also decided to send all of you as my babysitters...uhh... I mean my guides. From you they can all learn to be noble and free..." he said with a nod towards Manwe beamed in glee and thought, _Yeah! I am noble... I am free... I rule! I rule!...Go me!_. "...pick up new skills to make crafts..." He said with a nod to Aule, _I wonder if one of them could help me figure out how to make a shining stone?_. "...and learn justice and consideration..." He nodded towards Mandos who gloomily sighed, _Great! Now I will never have my happy place!_ "...where they can rise in their own might..." Illuvator rambled on as Melor scowled silently to himself, _Not if I can help it! I will make those pathetic, snivingling, bratty, little babies kneel before me! Mwahahaha! Uhh... must act good..._ He thought when he saw Illuvator cast him a stern unhappy daddy look. "...and learn to follow another lead if it is wise..." Illuvator said with a broad grin. He rambled on and on about the other Ainor's virtues when Varda in curiosity asked a big questions.

"But... what birthday gifts will you give them? For will it not be technically their birthdays when they are first made?" Her sweet face looking curiously at Eru.

"Hmmm... what to give them... Oh! I know!" He said loudly with joy, "I will give my firstborn immortality, grace, wisdom, beauty..." He began to list a huge list of things to give his first born children. "But...but..." Melkor stammered, "You gave that to US!" He wailed in anger as he threw a tantrum. Illuvator rolled his eyes and said, "Calm down... I will keep them lesser in stature then you! I will thus give them free will though to make choices. That way they will grow in might... but not alike to your might." He said to the Ainor.

"Eru? What about your Second Born?" Ulmo rumbled from his swimming pool. His blue-green eyes glittering with interest.

Eru paused thinking, "Well... I can't give them both the same gift! It may make me think that I did not allow them to be original... so I will give men..." He paused in deep thought. "MORTALITY!" He roared with great satisfaction at his cleverness. All the Ainor fell on their faces in shock. "What?!" Melkor laughed. Illuvator looked at him crossly, "Mortality! After all... they are younger and... I do not want to ALWAYS have an empty nest. So... I choose to have the baby of my family return home to me!"

"So which of us are you sending to teach your children?" The Ainor asked Eru. With a grin to his surprised Ainor he gave them a list. Tulkas let out a cry of rage at this list, "My Lord! If you are sending HIM then someone must go who can hold him in line so he doesn't... uhm... traumatize your children..." Illuvator sighed, "And who do you think should go also to 'hold him in line'? You?" He asked sarcastically. "When can I sign up?!" Tulkas asked brightly. "In a thousand years." Illuvator mumbled. "Okey-dokey!" Tulkas agreed.

_On second thought..._ Mandos thought quietly to himself, _maybe it is a good thing that I am going._ He thought as a doom rolled out before his eyes. _The First Born will need SERIOUS rehab._

END

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and that it was not to "wordy".

-Serami


End file.
